Aidilfitri Open House Etiquette
An About Eve Guide
Eid Mubarak, or as it’s known here as Hari Raya Aidilfitri, is a much-awaited celebration among many Muslims. It’s a celebration of Muslims’ victory in conquering their battles, both spiritually and physically, during the month of Ramadan, which is the holiest month in the Islamic calendar. It’s a time for family, friends, and forgiving foes.
Eve Writes | 07 June 2019
Life & Culture : Feature
During Hari Raya Aidilfitri, it’s not uncommon for you to be invited to open house functions. An Open House function brings together people regardless of their religion, race, and social background. Did you know that it is not generally practiced in other countries?
It is only here in Malaysia and extended to our international representatives around the world, where Open Houses is held in the Malaysian Embassies and/or the Residences of foreign state missions.
And did you know there’s an unspoken “law of ethics” when we go visiting the numerous Hari Raya open houses, be it from friends, colleagues, politicians, and many other corporate parties who hold these?
Yes, there is, so here is an About Eve Guide on a few Do’s and Don’ts for you to be aware of when we head to a Raya Open House.
1. Tip for a non-Muslim: DO keep yourself informed of the meaning and significance of this celebration
As mentioned, Eid Mubarak or Hari Raya Aidilfitri, is a celebration to mark the end of Ramadan and it’s a time to celebrate togetherness. But, it goes beyond just family gatherings and delicious food - it’s a time to commemorate reconciliation. As a general custom, families will ask for forgiveness before and during house visits. Graciously acknowledging this will certainly warm your host and family.
Upon arriving and before leaving, guests can depart with a simple “Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf zahir dan batin.” This roughly translates to “Do forgive any wrongdoings I may have done, spiritually or physically.” Though it may seem silly to say this to someone you may have just met, we learned that this can be said out of courtesy and respect to your hosts too and they’re more than willing to accept your respectful expression.
2. A male guest may not need to shake hands with the Hostess or the Lady of The House
DON'T offend or be offended, but it might be best to avoid physical contact with the opposite gender when mingling, as some Muslim households may be stricter than others.
For example, the men need not shake hands with the female figures of the house - a simple “Hello makcik” or “How do you do, Ma’am” would do. But when in doubt, just smile or nod and express your greeting.
3. DO dress appropriately
Be respectful of the culture and dress properly. There isn’t any formal dress code, but we advise you against coming with those ripped t shirts, or an overly sexy outfit. The host will not kick you out, but you wouldn't want to stick out like a sore thumb.
There are many Muslim families in Malaysia who observe the modesty culture when it comes to clothing, especially during Hari Raya Aidilfitri. So while your host may not mind, you may want to be mindful of other guests as they may come from different backgrounds and upbringings.
Visitors don’t exactly need to wear the baju kurung or other traditional clothes - though it’ll be extra special for the host if you do so! However, it’s more appropriate to dress modestly, so try to avoid short skirts or overly revealing necklines.
The best thing is, there aren’t any especially auspicious or taboo colours for Hari Raya Aidilfitri either, so feel free to wear any colour your heart desires!
P/s: We love this mother-daughter baju kurung by Jovian Mandagie
4. DO be gracious when helping yourself to the buffet
It can get pretty crowded at some open houses, but as tempting as it may be, try not to wipe out the entire jar of yummy kuihs - at least not before you invite your host to eat or be aware of the other guests.
As a form of basic courtesy, as guests you can also use the phrase “jemput makan”, which means “let’s eat together” with the other guests. But don't be surprised either when despite your friendly courtesy and their enthusiastic replies to how tempting the buffet looks, none of the guests stood up with you and make their way to the buffet table. It's just one of the Malay culture nuances!
5. Understanding the green packets
While guests are not expected to give out green packets (or duit raya) during visiting, you are completely welcome to do so, especially when there are young children present, or if you’re already working. Green packets can also be given to the elders of the house as a form of respect.
Ramadan bazaars or booths are a great place to get green packets in bundles for cheap - go for ones with unique designs that’ll add a nice touch to your gesture. And if you receive one, remember to accept them with both hands.
6. DO mind the little ones
Hari Raya is a big deal to children. They get new clothes, new shoes, and they’re often super excited for those little green packets. Other than that, all the delicious sweets and cookies serve during Hari Raya can get their energy level way higher than usual.
However, if you’re bringing your children to an open house function, it’s very important for you to make sure you keep an eye on them. Children make friends very easily and they can be up and running with the other children they’ve just met 10 minutes ago. Even though you might find your host saying they don’t mind the din or the running about, it’s still a very good idea to make sure your kids behave appropriately while at an open house function.
After all, it’s still a formal function where other guests are present, and people are enjoying each other’s company, some of which haven’t seen each other for years. It’s respectful to the other guests if you’re mindful of your children and make sure they’re not making too much noise or racket.
7. DO bring a small gift for the Host/Hostess
There are no strict rules on gifting during Aidilfitri, but likewise there aren’t any strict rules on not gifting either. Though it’s fine for you not to bring any gifts when visiting, it would be great not to turn up to your host’s home empty handed!
Flowers are acceptable, but a safe bet would be a box of halal pastries, cakes or a basket of fruits - plus, it’s something everyone can enjoy too.
Hint: If the hostess is a close friend, you may want to consider the following gift ideas. Here’s some of Eve’s favourite gift ideas!
KitaKita - Choices of exquisite fine bone china with the delicate design of the Nyonya Kebaya. You will not only impress but will certainly be remembered by any Hostess with the Mostest.
Suria Artisan Batik - Designer batiks inspired by the rainforest of Malaysia. It is handblocked and dyed on 100% silk or cotton. Every piece is just beautiful and the scarve can be worn for any occasion!
Nurrhome - Inspired by interiors, cultures, and journeys. You can never go wrong with a gift box of scented home candles.
We hope this guide has been able to shed more light on the traditions of Hari Raya. Regardless of whether we celebrate it or not, learning about different cultures is always important - especially in a multicultural society like our own.
And to all our Muslim readers, Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri from all of us at About Eve.
